How does a divorce mediation work?

 Posted on December 16, 2025 in Divorce

Generally, mediation is an alternative to a court hearing that people use to resolve their disputes. is a particular type of mediation, focusing on helping couples resolve divorce-related issues like custody, property division and spousal support.

In most ways, divorce mediation works like any other type of mediation. It is a confidential process, meaning that what people say during a mediation session cannot come back to haunt them in court.

For the most part, mediation is also a voluntary process. Some Northern Virginia judges might order a couple to give mediation a good faith effort, but courts cannot force anyone to enter a mediated agreement.

During mediation, a qualified person, often a family law attorney or retired judge, will work with each spouse, sometimes with their attorneys, to resolve the couple's outstanding legal issues.

The mediator is not supposed to make decisions like a judge would, but they may point out certain information or even question a person's thought process behind their position.

If the couple does agree on all or even some issues, the mediator may help them finalize their agreement in writing so they can file it with the court.

What are the advantages and disadvantages of trying mediation?

Resolving a divorce through mediation has several advantages:

• It can save a person a lot of the time, money and stress that goes in to preparing for and holding a contested divorce hearing.
• It both gives people control over how their lives will look after divorce and cuts out the risk that a judge will make a decision that puts a spouse in financial or other hardship.
• It goes a long way in preserving the couple's privacy since the process is confidential.
• It can serve as a launching board for a more cooperative relationship between the two spouses going forward. This cooperation can have a positive impact on the couple and, particularly, any minor children they have together.

Despite its advantages, mediation might not be right for everyone. It also can prove to be a waste of time and money if a couple's mediation leads to no progress in resolving their outstanding issues. A person should evaluate whether mediation is an option they want to pursue.