Can children decide which parent they live with?

 Posted on August 20, 2025 in Child custody

You and your spouse are navigating a divorce or getting closer to one. You know that one of the big decisions you are going to have to make is where your children are going to live and how you are going to divide custody rights.

However, one concern that you have is simply that your child will want to live with a specific parent. For instance, maybe your child has already said that, if the two of you get divorced, they want to live with your ex. You are worried that you are going to lose your relationship with your child because you will not get custody.

A child's preference is only one factor

There are two things to consider here. The first is that children are not always asked what their preference would be, especially if they are relatively young. The court is not going to issue a child custody ruling based on the opinions of a five-year-old. Children are typically only asked about their preferences if they are older, such as if you have a teenager who is in high school.

The second thing to remember is that the court does not have to go along with this preference, even after the child expresses it. The court is focused on the .

For example, the court may determine that it would be in your child's best interests to maintain a relationship with both you and your ex. Even if your child explicitly states that they would prefer to live with your ex, that does not mean the court has to honor that request. They can still divide custody between both of you.

As you work your way through this divorce process, be sure you understand your legal options and your parental rights.